I’ve worked with a lot of hermaphrodites. Millions of them, in fact.
I even wrote a song about the self-fertile hermaphrodite lifestyle!
The Hermaphrodite’s Song
Mrs. Morgan Goulding, 2015
Thank God I am Hermaphrodite;
I snuggle with myself all night!
I get myself o great with child,
And lay my eggs out in the wild.
Siring daughters virgin-born,
I look on hapless males with scorn;
They can’t have babies - what’s their use?
Methinks they are a waste of juice.
With my dual genital function,
I mind the Oracular injunction,
And know myself, as Eve knew Adam.
Lots of babies? I have had 'em.
Desperate females chase a buck,
As if a song and dance brought luck.
Nurturing their worthless sons,
They weep as their life-spring downward runs.
Courtship could be more efficient.
Look at me - I’m self-sufficient!
There’s always a date on Friday night
For the happy hermaphrodite.
Why should love be so complex?
Why pay a twofold cost for sex?
Meiosis helps my race improve,
And I don’t even have to move.
O praise the clever hand and eye
Who took that dread asymmetry
And wove together in one frame
The male and female, different, same!